Sweating blood over a good lead was an interactive workshop presented by Ryerson University Journalism Professor Don Gibb at Wordstock 2006. These tips are based on my notes from that workshop.

Hopefully, they'll help you hone your news releases or newsletter articles.

Eight characteristics of a weak lead:

1. Dull
2. Cliché
3. Overloading too much information, i.e., a "suitcase" lead
4. Using feature instead of hard lead
5. Too general
6. Same information in headline and lead paragraph
7. Buried lead
8. Too much attribution

Tips:

• If you're going to be clever in a lead, it better work effectively
• If you give the readers a long sentence, treat them to a shorter one
• The period is your best friend
• Read it aloud to yourself — if it sounds long and/or bad, it probably is
• Good leads shouldn't exceed 25-30 words (60 is far too long)
• Don't assume readers know the information
• Understating in a lead is an art
• A good lead should tackle only one issue/detail
• Readers need details, but they shouldn't all be packed together
• Reader comprehension drops off after every 25 words
• A good lead is focused and has impact
• One idea per sentence — but a variety of sentence lengths equals good writing
• Beware of numbers — aim for a maximum of two  numbers, e.g., percentages per lead/paragraph

Two formulas for leads

Formula 1:

Lead sentence followed by background information — Background information must add details that advance the article.

Formula 2:

Lead sentence followed by a quote — The quote needs to be a strong, effective one that advances the article, not one that merely repeats information in the lead, with attribution.